Putting Teenage Son on a Budget
March 14th, 2008 by Ana
I went grocery shopping yesterday with my teenage son, since he’s been grumbling that I don’t get him enough of the foods he likes. Big mistake. Actually, BIG MISTAKE. Things kept “jumping” into the cart when he thought I wasn’t looking.
By the time I got to the deli counter (and was quite happy to see alll the sale signs) I was getting quite fed up with my son’s antics. He was bouncing into the chip aisle, the pop (soda) aisle, and through the freezer aisles as I waited for the lady to slice up all the cheeses for me.
It was then I got this “brilliant idea.” I am going to stop grocery shopping for my son completely! Instead, I am going to give him the money I would usually spend on his food (he for some strange reason is a vegetarian) and then I will let him get his OWN grocery cart and buy his own groceries.
Son says he loves the idea, although we had to negotiate about the amount of money each week. I held firm at $35 per week. I called up hubby out in the parking lot and flew the idea past him. Hubby loved the idea as well, since getting the teenager to write out a grocery list for me to shop from is like pulling teeth. (Maybe that is why he doesn’t get the groceries he wants…? Hmmm….)
On the way home from the grocery store, another idea occurred to me. I could also put him on a budget for clothing! In fact, I think I will give the teenager my “envelope system” that came with my FPU membership kit that I don’t use, just so Son can keep his money straight as to how much he has for which category. I also advised Son to keep his weekly pay (from chores) in a separate envelope, because he will no longer be getting fun money from me or hubby.
I will admit I have my own motives for doing this. I don’t think my son has a very good grasp on how much food costs nowadays or how to shop for the best bargain. Yesterday, Son even said he thought stocking up on sale items was a “waste of money.” Perhaps buying his own food will change his mind on that subject! It might even alter the boy’s “champagne tastes” since he is getting a “beer money” budget. I also see this as a way to prepare him for the Real World, and budgeting for food is a necessary Real World skill!
I’ll have to remember to post about how this little experiment/experience goes for us. Has anyone else done this with their teenager? Or had parents who did it?
Added: Here are the follow-up posts for this experiment
- Teenager on a Budget - The First Try
- A Gallon of Milk Costs More Than A Gallon of Gas
- Teenager on a Budget - The Milk Update
- Week Two - Teenager on a Food Budget
Posted in budgeting |
March 14th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Bwahaha @ the vegetarian getting food from the junk aisles.
I just wanted to say this is a brilliant idea and also, good for you that he is getting this lesson before he has to figure it out on his own and put himself into debt because he hasn’t learned the lesson yet.
My stepmom gave me a few on-the-fly lessons about judging price per ounce, showed me about shopping with coupons (they have gotten a bit more… piddly in selection and discount since I was a kid), and had a savings account for me from about junior high onward. That was about the extent of my financial education, I’m sorry to say. And it was still better than a lot of Gen X folks got as kids.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:08 am
What a great idea! I wish I’d thought of that years ago when my teen sons ate everything in sight and wanted more. I hadn’t even heard of Dave at that time and didn’t know doodly about budgeting but the idea would have worked anyway. Ah well, maybe I can pass this idea on to others who have the same problem.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:13 am
My mother was a firm believer that if it wasn’t on the list she wasn’t buying it. No complaining.
I went shopping with my mother often and still do when I go home from college. It is a fun thing to do and give us great time.
My mother did a great job teaching me about budgeting when i was a kid. Comparing different costs per ounce of different sizes of packaging.
Giving a child a budget and showing him/her that things like food, water, shelter, electricty all cost money is vital and I know I would be in big trouble if my mother didnt do these things to me.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Dana and Denise: It was a flash of inspiration that came from FRUSTRATION! Now, if I could just get the Son to cook for himself…any ideas for that?
March 14th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Last time I went clothes shopping with my preteen daughter, I told her how much she could spend and how long it would be before we would go again. You should have seen how hard she worked to get the most value out of that money. She didn’t get a single thing that she decided a week later she hated and wouldn’t wear again, either.
I never thought about doing it with food, but when she and her brother get older, that might work too.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
This sounds like a good way to teach him to be responsible with money. I like it. Be sure to let us know how it turns out!
Take Care
LJ
March 14th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
LJ, I am sure folks are gonna be asking for updates on this LOL but I planned to do a week-by-week recap at least to start out.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I absolutely WISH my parents had done something like this for me! I started earning my own money wtih my paper route when I was 11 and worked all through high school, but had nothing to show for it in the end. Except a closet full of out-of-fashion clothes.
I’m sure your son will hate the experiment before long, but one day he’ll realize the lesson was priceless.
March 14th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
This is an excellent idea. What a great moment of inspiration! I can’t wait to see how this plays out.
March 14th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
My parents used to give me a regular clothing allowance. It started out as about $25 a month, then over time became $100 every quarter. My dad would transfer the funds into my credit union account at the start of each quarter. This taught me several lessons - how important it was to make the funds last, how much some of the name-brand items I loved cost, and how important it is to keep your checkbook balanced! (I bounced a couple checks before I figured this one out). They never tried the food budget with me, but I might have my kids meal-plan and shop with me to help them see how much it costs. Cool idea!
March 15th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Teens are often funny about their vegetarianism…recently one teen girl was telling me about being a vegetarians (while out as a group at a restaurant)…she had the salad bar for her meal, including the REAL BACON BITS!!!! LOL
A teen boy going veg seems odd to me, guys seem to crave meat protein. Most male vegetarians are kinda skinny and wan looking and they don’t look healthy.
March 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
When it came to clothes my parents pretty much bought me anything I wanted. (within reason) When it came to food, it was a completely different story.
If I didn’t eat what was put in front of me, I would go hungry. Simple. If I had asked for a food budget, I think they would have laughed in my face or given me a whack.I guess they were trying to teach me to appreciate things more.
March 16th, 2008 at 2:29 am
I had a clothing allowance from the 9th grade on: 300 bucks for the Fall and 150 for Spring. It was useful: my mother didn’t get to tell me what to wear, and I didn’t have to ask her for money when I needed something.
The only problem I could see with the food budget would be your son deciding that ‘his’ funds are for potato chips and pop, while you’d buy him ‘real food’
But if he’s a vegetarian, he should learn to cook and balance proteins, if he doesn’t already. Buy him a couple of good cookbooks and let him get all excited about beans and rice (and tofu).
March 16th, 2008 at 11:55 am
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March 17th, 2008 at 3:42 am
I think that’s an excellent idea. I am a teen myself but it’s kind of the other way around since I’m the one advocating sale items and consumer awareness for my mom. Budgeting is very important and it’s really sad that schools don’t teach it all that much.
March 17th, 2008 at 8:30 am
I just found your blog, and I have to say that I LOVE it. And this idea is brilliant. I’ve been banging my head against the walls trying to figure out how to drive home the rising cost of food to my 11-year-old daughter (and sometimes her father). She’s grown up “spoiled” in the sense that there’s always something in the freezer and/or pantry for us to eat and she’s never had to really think about money before. I think this will be one of our “summer lessons” this year. Thanks for the idea.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
I remember when all I wanted was a pair of 80 dollar jeans in the early 90’s. Remember the “fashion” trends? Well, my mother refused. I cried. She refused. I threw a tantrum. She refused. I explained to her that *EVERYONE* else had a pair of these jeans and that people would *THINK* I was poor. She refused.
Then we went shopping.
We went into the store, and my mother picked up a pair of the jeans. She looked at the price tag. She asked me how many of those jeans I thought I would “need”. I told her 3 pairs. She added up what 3 pairs would cost. Then she put them down and we went to see “What else I may like”.
She added up all the things I liked. Then she showed me that for the cost of 3 pairs of jeans, I could instead get 5 pairs of jeans, 8 tops, a pair of shoes, and some accessories. (Of course, everything was coming off the sales rack)
This was an eye opener. I never asked my mother for a pair of designer jeans again.
Did my mother end up spending the same amount that she would for 3 pairs of jeans? Yes. But we got “more for dad’s hard earned money”, and didn’t I want to “stretch his dollars as much as I could?”
I am such an idiot. My parents did give me good money values - I just failed to implement them in my early adult life!
March 19th, 2008 at 6:19 am
This blog post has been included in the “Carnival of Money Stories #51″ at Life Lessons of a Military Wife. Hope you will drop by and read some of the many other wonderful entries received this week!
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 am
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April 8th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I realize that I’m going to be the voice of dissention, but I actually hate this idea. It’s too much responsibility for too big of a thing all at once. I can see letting him help plan for the family, and involving him in budgeting, but just to give a kid $35 and turn him loose is throwing him in the deep end. Is that even enough money to feed a teenage boy for a week?
My mother was forever making random rulings like this without any plan for teaching me the skills I needed. In college, I got $100 a month on which I was supposed to buy all my food, clothing, gas, and entertainment, and I wasn’t allowed to have a job. Believe me when I say that 20 years later, I don’t look back and thank her. I still think she was wrong and unthoughted. There are better ways to teach - like actually teaching skills.
April 20th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
[…] Putting the teenager on his own food budget […]
April 24th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Hmmm…
$35 a week you say…
Little Caesars - 5 Pizzas - $25
Case of ramen - $5
Can of KoolAid Powder - $5
You’ll be set for like 2 weeks.
May 28th, 2008 at 8:02 am
[…] Putting My Teenage Son on a Budget This is something that would work well if you have a good relationship with your teenage son. For some kids, it would result in an even bigger war. (@ debt free revolution) […]
May 28th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Question really is, how will you confine him to only eating what he’s bought? Chances are he’ll just say you didn’t give him enough and it’s not fair. You need to comparison, not just $35 for him, but $35 for you. Side by side carts so he can see the differences in what you purchased and how it’s going to feed you for a week. Do that for a month and see how willing he is to keep sucking down pizza’s and ramen noodles.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:29 am
[…] Putting My Teenage Son on a Budget This is something that would work well if you have a good relationship with your teenage son. For some kids, it would result in an even bigger war. (@ debt free revolution) […]
July 24th, 2008 at 8:36 am
My parents used to give me a regular clothing allowance. It started out as about $25 a month, then over time became $100 every quarter. My dad would transfer the funds into my credit union account at the start of each quarter. This taught me several lessons - how important it was to make the funds last, how much some of the name-brand items I loved cost, and how important it is to keep your checkbook balanced! (I bounced a couple checks before I figured this one out). They never tried the food budget with me, but I might have my kids meal-plan and shop with me to help them see how much it costs. Cool idea!