Reluctant Spouses, Compromise, and Debt Reduction
Last week when I had blogger’s block, PaidTwice had some great suggestions for posts she’d like to see from me. Well I am almost to the bottom of my second cup of coffee and still haven’t thought of something to blog about this morning, so I’ll fish out one of her suggestions/questions and run with it. She wrote:
The art of compromise - I know you’ve had to compromise with your hubby a bit since you are a little more… driven by the debt reduction than he is. How have you navigated that? Tips for others who have reluctant spouses?
Me…a “little more driven”?? Make that a WHOLE LOT OF MORE DRIVEN to get rid of our debt! When I started this financial journey a little over a year ago, hubby didn’t understand what the big deal was. He just didn’t get the “urgency” and didn’t see why I thought I needed to listen to some flake on the radio to make our finances better. In fact, he called Dave Ramsey a “cult leader” several times between January and August of 2007. Yes, hubby was very much the proverbial reluctant spouse.
So for the first seven and a half months on the Dave Ramsey Debt Reduction (Elimination) Plan, compromises needed to be made. Heck, I had to wheel and deal with hubby to finally get him to quit using the credit cards! This of course was further complicated by hubby being stationed in South Korea and communicating mostly by email because of the 14 hour time difference. Some of the compromises were:
- I upped his TSP (Thrift Savings Plan) contribution from 3% to 5%
- I budgeted for him to have $10 per day … yes, that really is $300 a month! That of course was part of the wheeling and dealing to have him put those credit cards away.
- We have kept the big Stupid Tax on Wheels…aka his truck that he bought brand new off the lot. He loves it…and has promised to drive the wheels off of it.
- He has his own personal emergency fund, which is also what he uses to buy military clothing and gear needed for work. This was actually a smart compromise, since he could get a phone call in the middle of the night and be on his way to some “exotic locale” by mid-afternoon, courtesy of the U.S. Army.
Soo…the burning question is: just how did I manage to get hubby on board with the Dave Ramsey plan?? To be honest, even with all the compromises, I still dragged hubby practically kicking and screaming into our “Total Money Makeover.” I had to spend more than half the year proving it to him, and eventually he came around when I set my sights on our last debt and blogged about making a monster truck note payment. After reading that post, hubby grabbed the audio CDs I sent him and began listening, wondering what the secret was!
Ironically, hubby just said he still thinks Dave Ramsey is a cult leader LOL and that “we aren’t his target audience.” I still disagree. And in a way he is still a reluctant spouse. He just likes the results we have achieved.
So, if you have a reluctant spouse, what can you do? Well…keep in mind I am not the most diplomatic person! Depending on your situation and spouse you can try one of these ideas:
- The classic “But honey this means SO much to me…” I didn’t think of this one and didn’t use it.
- Just take over the money and prove it to the reluctant spouse. This is exactly what I did LOL and hubby is still quite happy to let me take care of all the details. This will only work if the reluctant spouse is a “free spirit” type personality.
- Drag your reluctant spouse to see Dave Ramsey. Tell the spouse this is a comedy show, and it will still be the truth as Dave uses a LOT of humor to get his point across. A Live Event is best, but Financial Peace University on DVD will still work.
- Sneaky: Softly play Dave Ramsey as your spouse sleeps (aka subliminal messages LOL) Hubby has actually accused me of this one…ya know I didn’t think of it but it could have worked! Hmmm…
- The joke over at My Total Money Makeover forums is that I pass around a cast iron skillet to knock totally and stubbornly reluctant husbands upside the head with. I haven’t done it actually, but it makes for some fun threads…
Has anyone else successfully brought a reluctant spouse aboard the Dave Ramsey program? If so, what did you do?
